im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
