i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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