After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Randomize
