My nipple is on Facebook.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
