i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
