I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
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