the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
you inspire me to be a worse person
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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