her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
