hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
should my penis look like a turkey
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
