they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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