If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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