awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
