Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
