If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
