I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
