eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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