Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
