so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize