giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
