I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
