i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
