You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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