I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Randomize