Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
