I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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