4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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