My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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