Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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