if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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