sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Swine flu is the new snow day.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Hippo gnu deer
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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