i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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