he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Ladies don't puke and tell
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize