the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
