GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
