If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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