dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
last night I used snow as a chaser
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
