mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
