i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
What changed your mind?
Being sober
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
