You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
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