my phone needs a breathalizer
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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