woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
