the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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