Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
