too bad you live with your parents still
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Randomize
