You can't motorboat a personality
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
