In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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