Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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