More tranny stories later!
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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