I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
you win again, gameday.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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