just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
