I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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