Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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