DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
