I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
