Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
