yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
