Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
